“Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage.” —Brené Brown
When was the last time you did something that took courage? Something that made your heart beat a little faster and play into your vulnerabilities and nervousness? So much of the time we all take the ‘safe’ route simply because it’s familiar… it’s known… it’s predictable. It’s also boring as hell! Now, I’m not necessarily talking about skydiving or base jumping, although… where do I sign up for that? I’m not referring to the ‘big’ things that create the jolt in adrenaline that rushes through your body, I’m talking about the soul stuff. The things that are soul elevating or equally destroying… the kind of courage that it takes to make the first move or to step outside of your comfort zone. On the flip side… the kind of courage it takes to admit when you’re at fault or own up to your flaws. In essence, I’m referring to the kind of soul courage it takes to tear down the walls you’ve spent decades building and reinforcing with each bruise to your ego or each wound encountered… be it self-inflicted or not.
With the new year now upon us I feel it an appropriate time to reboot and renew. With a focus on positive thoughts I’m beginning to tear down the proverbial walls brick by brick. I’ve built my guard up over the years, reinforcing the cracks and crevasses as I licked my wounds from lessons learned. This will not be an easy feat but I’m determined to accomplish it. Please understand this is not me flitting around willy-nilly reverting back to naivety and obliviousness. 2017 is about growing and evolving. This is about removing a brick from this massive wall and being courageous in doing so, knowing that yeah, I may get hurt. So.freaking.what?! What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. This is about finally exposing my own vulnerabilities and knocking out these windowless walls and doing some interior decorating. Hell… let’s add some windows, let the breeze in, allow room for beauty and art in the form of relationships, new experiences, foreign feelings, and lessons. This is about no longer being a slave to anxiety or the external world around me. This is about being the best version of myself that I can be for my future self, family, loved ones, and those I hope I may inspire one day.
Let’s really break this down and get real for a second, okay? What do we know about pride? A quick google search will spit out biblical proportions of quotes and philosophical ideals on the topic. Pride, in a sense, is what keeps us in the way of ourselves. It’s our guard or wall that’s built around our hearts. It leads us down dark and windy trails, always pushing us to take the ‘safe’ route to self-preserve our own fragile egos. Now, how many times have you heard that pride comes before the fall, or swallow your pride, or the nobler the blood.. the less the pride. I get it, I’m certainly not perfect, but I’d like to be known and remembered someday as someone who gave it their all, that didn’t let their pride dictate their life choices. I want to demolish this enormous old reinforced wall with the biggest wrecking ball I can find. That’s not the way to do it though… instead it’ll be removed brick by brick. Slow and steady. With each new unguarded and open section I’ll allow myself to feel and bask in the vulnerability. I will be alert and grateful and open. This bit of interior design is not about removing the walls in their entirety, certainly not. It’s removing them to do the aforementioned decorating; install some windows and breezeways. Learn and grown in the exposing of my flaws and vulnerabilities. Understand, my heart and soul will still be housed and protected. After all, past experiences will keep some walls and I think it’s important to see who is willing to work to see the interior, but it’s time for a renovation. It’s time to realign and redecorate so when people come along and take the time, effort, and love to tear down the remaining walls… that they won’t tear it down only to reveal a dark cavern… instead they’ll see a well-lit atrium. Sure, the flaws will still be there, the occasional insecurities… I am but human. The people who get to the point of seeing the atrium though… I want to give them all that is beautiful, real, honest, and pure. How else am I to do that without some sprucing up around the place?
To sum all of this up for those that see the post and go, TL;DR… To become more courageous and true to yourselves, let’s drop the pride and ego, remove some of the bricks in the proverbial walls and do some renovations. We’ve all been hurt before but isn’t it time to let it go and move-on? Sure, you can keep the memory of who wronged you or whatever… but what’s the point in continuing to add to the wall or reinforce it with each new wound… no two people are the same and its high time everyone stopped comparing and lumping people in with one another. We are all unique and that is beautiful. I’m done with the negativity of it all. If you have walls up for the soul purpose to protect yourself than you’re merely focusing on the fact that you need to protect yourself because otherwise you’ll be hurt again…. Do you see the flaw in that logic? Your thoughts are on the fact you’ll be hurt again, rather than embracing the what-ifs or the positive aspects of everything. I’m telling you, there’s some serious power in positive thought. Law of attraction, yo. One of my all time favorite philosophers summed it up perfectly; “Morality is not the doctrine of how we may make ourselves happy, but how we may make ourselves worthy of happiness.” – Immanuel Kant. How will you revamp your interior in the new year? How will you make yourself worthy of happiness?