Case of the Mondays

It’s true, I’m not a morning person. I’m one of those types that revels in silence when I first wake. Unless I’m in a partnered relationship with you… in which case you’re mostly safe, don’t talk to me, don’t look at me, don’t breathe my air. Give it a good 15 or 20 minutes before approaching and then make sure you tread lightly until I’ve had my coffee. While I hate being this grade-a level of bitch in the mornings… it’s not really something I can control. This morning has been no different and I’m fairly certain that I brought truth to the below phrase. Ooops.


After taking my first sip of coffee the positive thinking is beginning to work to reverse this sourpuss mood I’ve found myself in. Let’s backtrack a moment though and give you a wonderful glimpse into my personal case of the Mondays…

1:14 AM: Woken by stampede of cats whose playing turned into war

2:48 AM: Woken by my tiny bladder (thanks, life.)

4:07 AM: The neighbors are raking wet leaves at the side of the house closest to my window…. in.the.rain. What the actual fuck? Drugs are bad, m’kay?!

5:40 AM: Woken by fifteen pound cat standing on my face.

5:45 AM: Alarm one goes off, I get up to silence it and slam my toe as hard as I possibly could into the desk. Ouch… m*therf**ker.

6:05 AM: Alarm two goes off, I snooze it for just a few more minutes as I curl into a fetal position. This marathon headache that has haunted me for days is back and it’s angry.

6:13 AM: I get out of bed ready to take some ibuprofen and begin this day… can’t find the ibuprofen. Launched massive house hunt.

6:15 AM: Realize roommate must have ibuprofen, leave safe zone of bedroom to locate it.

6:16 AM: Found ibuprofen bottle, open it… there is ONE. One single 200mg liquid gelcap. Mind you, I normally take four.

6:17 AM: Cry inside.

6:20 AM: Dry my face after it’s morning cleanse and prepare my toothbrush. Cat knocks cell phone into running water in sink. Well, balls.

I’m fairly certain you all get my drift at this point, I spent the next five minutes drying out my phone while brushing my teeth and carried on throughout the morning. Cat picks multiple fights with other cats, at this point I’m already livid at said cat culprit. Scream, yell, stomp my foot. Something worked well enough that he knew he was in trouble and sulked away…. Finally, ahhhhh, silence. I finish getting ready and head into work. Coffee, a.k.a. Nectar of the Gods, is strong this morning (for damned good reason) and I’m about a quarter of the way through my thermos. My mood has drastically improved and thinking positively is much more natural and easy than just a couple of hours ago.


In hindsight and the more heavenly nectar I ingest, the more I realize what an ass-hat I was this morning. Onward and upward I suppose. Time for some positive thinking and to turn this frown upside down. The weekend was a good one despite the marathon haunting headache that’s lingered for a few days. Boyfriend was finally able to meet some of my core group of friends at a wedding we attended. Congratulations to the Salazars! Cake was excellent… it’s my favorite food group you know. The remainder of the weekend was spent cuddling, enjoying each other, and sleeping in. Got the typical adulting chores done, laundry, cleaning, and the such, and proceeded to veg out watching one of my favorite shows, You’re the Worst. M had passed me on season two so I instructed him to not give me any spoilers… and he didn’t, but let me say this… keep tissues nearby. I’ve now surpassed him so must uphold no spoilers on my end. Sunday fun day, better than a Monday, can only do it one way, and that is the drunk way!


While I’m now back to my normal happy self, I realize that the positive thought in the morning, for this morning, still counts. It’s before noon! I’ve managed to turn my outlook and case of the Mondays around in just a few short hours. Granted, this morning upon first crawling out of bed, was not a good one. I was irritated at everything… but now I’m grateful. Without those bad times to reflect upon, we wouldn’t understand the good in our lives. I’ll make it a point to give extra love to the cats this evening and do something nice for my roomie, since she too had to deal with my ass-hattery this morning. Just poured my second cup of nectar… let’s carpe the hell out of this diem. Also, find more ibuprofen. Eff.



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